this is going to be a very long post. yesyes.
i got a lot to say.
i must really feel lucky that i can pour out my troubles here.
i will tell why later.

starting from yesterday bah.
i tink i kind of flunked the maths test already =(
nvm
anyways, i din study at all =x
really too tired because of studying bio the day before.
the i can't rmb what happened..

OH YAH! i rmb now. hahaha
hmms. after school many of us were rushing geog hw that we were suppose to do during self-study.
then ms tee suddenly came in to our class and asked if she can use our class to film som channel u show thingy
i duno why our class lo..
the class notice boards are so pathetic. things falling off.
then so messy lo =/

so anyways, everyone of us were chased out of 4e2.
we are like you3 ban1 gui1 bu4 de2..lols
but anyhow, i left for band rehearsals larhs.

the rehearsal was...( i duno wad to say)
when we reached SCH, siglap started to pack up le..
that means we were starting the rehearsal immediately
so quickly went to set up lo.

begin with the usual warmups and tuning up..
then mr tan started with emperate..
he din start frm the beginning (which was bad)
he was working on the parts where percussion has no parts.
so perc STOOD and ROT there. for very very long....

can u believe that after nearly 1 hour plus, only carol and yiangshan played out of the whole percussion section??? GEE
then finally the whole percussion section played. haha
i must say siglap's bass drum is the BOUNCIEST. LOL
when i hit i will move up and down, gives me the feeling of " BOING!"
basically bouncy lah. lol
because they used rubber band to support the drum.
plus the bass drum was like so tilted and it cannot be adjusted.
so i have to bend and tilt my body too! =/

then there's this part. ok, the last second beat of the piece.
mr glosz wanted percussion to stop the resonating of our instruments.
so i tried hitting. then mr glosz said i GOT IT!
den he came running to the bass drum..
he wanted to demonstrate how the orchestra plays a bass drum.
den he put is leg up..the next thing that happened was....
THE RUBBER BAND SNAPPED AND IT FELL OFF FROM THE STAND!
gosh! i was like so shocked!
anyways, the bassdrum was placed on the chairs after that.
but i was scared that it will fall off u noe..scary larhs =/

hmms. oh yah yesterday the clarinet section squeaked a lot =x
anyways, the rehearsal was like so fast jiu end le.
but we reached school quite late. 7pm i guess
and i reached home at around 8pm.

yesterday i had the worst dinner =x
cuz i ate a lot.
my mum cooked too much rice. i could not finish eating them.
she said cannot finish nvm.so ok loh..
next she wanted me to drink the soup.
she said must drink hor! and eat the ingredients inside.
i was like so bloated le..
but i just ate and ate and ate.....
my mum din realise i was still eating coz she was talking on the phone.
when she ended the conversation, she den realised i was VERY FULL (near to explosion i guess)
den she said, " i ask u to drink but nvr ask u to finish mah. full jiu hao le lo.."
but everything was too late. i felt like vomitng the whole night.
and i was having headache too.

i still got testS not studied, homework not done...
and i was really tired le..
so i decided to go and sleep first.

THE NEXT MORNING..( about 2am =/)
i heard some noises.
i tot it was my dad preparing to go for work le..
and he normally goes wakes up at about 4plus..
so i tot i overslept. cuz iset alarm clock at 3am

i looked at my hp, only 2 plus.
so i went back to sleep..
then at 2.59am...
i got woken up by some noises again..
this time i held on to my hp. when i rang, i immediately off it. lols
then i woke up. i saw my dad in the living room.
my mum walking in and out of the room.

i wondered why, so i asked
den my mum said i can sleep still dun want to sleep.
den i said, i need to study my tests and do my homework lehhs.

nxt my mum suddenly lean against the cupboard in the kitchen.
she poured out all her troubles and stuff.
i was really really shocked.
but i was washing up while she was crying and stuff.

i gonna say i really hate those stupid ppl that treated my mum this way.
STUPID STUPID PEOPLE!
now my mum is in a terrible state and i duno wad to do..
she cannot trust her so called friends anymore.
she said she cannot find anyone to talk to..
my dad always worked till so late..then he will feel really tired by the time he reaches home..
when my mum talked to her, he will sometimes, or perhaps always fu yan her yarhs..
we din noe she has all this troubles.

i feel really bad for her.
for neglecting her.
and now, this stupid daughter of hers duno wad to do.
my mum has done so much for us.
without her, i dun tink i can focus with my studies.

nowadays, i realised she kept going out with my aunts to temples.
i din noe she was trying to run away from home. as in avoiding to stay indoors.
i can understand how she feels. but i just duno how to put it in words for her.
those aunties that i had seen for so many years, finally revealed their true colours.
trying to frame me mum when she's innocent.
she din mean to do what she did.
that's her character yahs.
but no one could accept the fact that she have to say out everything. she has in mind.
if she bottles them up, she cannot sleep and she will keep thinking wild..

plus i got an irritating neighbour.
oh yeahs. anyways yesterday, my neighbour's son ran away frm home again.
serves her right. i dun mean to be so evil for no reasons
she's really ridiculous that i can;t be bothered.
i pity her son pls. im so glad i dun haf such a mum like her.

anyways, she always trys all sorts of way to provoke my mum.
and my mum is usually alone at home.
so she will take the chance to bully my mum.
thus the problems are piling up
and my mum keep saying that she's going to get depression.
OH GOSH. im so worried for her larhs.

that's why i said that im really lucky to have a blog.
but i really need it larhs.

(shall not go out of point)

so anyways, three of us just satyed awake till the morning..
not kidding..all of us decided to stay awake from 3am onwards..
i decided that long ago..
din expect that this happened early in the morning.

i just simply cannot concentrate lahs.

today got back maths tests.
i got such good marks u noe!!!
SO GOOD!!
1/13 for kinematics!!!! HAHAHA!
and elaine got 0/13
we were saying both maths rep are getting such 'WONDERFUL' scores. GEE!
and the other one on integration i got 20/30

anyways, i flunked my eng paper really badly.
i felt totally sleepy.
i duno wad to write.
i freaked out.
i any-oh-how wrote craps.
haix. whoever that see that would be disgusted. haix.
forget it.

anyways, today when i went home, my mum was with my aunties again.
and my lil cousin =)
heard that she ate a lot lols.

then something bad happened to me larhs.
haix. i see my mum in that state, i just cannot control my feelings.
i feel so useless.
my mum asked me to wash my uniform.
and i could not find enough hangers.
i did the task badly larhs. haix..
my dad and i were like ji1 shou3 ya1 jiao3 =/

my dad is rather poor thing too.
he lost a lot of sleep yesterday.
then today he must be very tired.
den i see him trying to make my mum to feel better.
doing chores for her. but no time to eat his dinner.
he say he no appetite larhs.
so im quite worried for him too..

i mean my dad has his own troubles too..
haix. i really duno wad to do larhs.
so i broke down just now.
when they were still at home, i dun dare to cry out loud.
but in the end, they still found out. haix!
im making things worse only..

then when they left the house.
i let out a big cry..
my head was aching like hell...WORST that i ever had.

but yingting was there for me.
although things din really work for me, im glad that i got a friend like her.
and many others that are concerned.
i will try to be happy okay? =)

im just very confused larhs. many things in my mind.
today i feel so blur.
i left my maths tests in the class.
how am i going to sign them?!?! GEE
and my phy tb. i tink i left it in class too. arghh
wadz wrong with me?

i hope everything will turn out fine in the end.
ireally hope so.
and i really wish my neighbour would stop all her nonesense!

actually still got a lot to type on..but i tink i need to sleep le larhs. im tired.
im glad tmr no school.
shall do some reflection.
haix.

hopes that my mum will be fine..
i promise i will be a good girl from now on..
im sorry for not being able to realise that u are actually suffering so much.

but seriously, whenever i see my mum in agony, all i noe is to drop tears. haix
i must be strong. u must be strong too.

haix. i tink i better end off now.
and goes to sleep as my parent wishes me to do.
happy good friday yarhs? (:

OFF!